About thirty minutes into my work routine, I heard it. There was this tiny little nudge. It wasn't audible. Just a small hint in the back of my mind. The nudge was reminding me that on this particular morning, daily Mass was happening during my work schedule, just down the hall, and I had time to go. Or did I? Ads to finish... Articles to edit... I still needed to find that file... But the nudge pushed a little harder. "Mass just down the hall starts in 30 minutes. You should go." Ugh. So much to do. It's only daily Mass. "But daily Mass by yourself. Without a baby crying. Or a kid's nose running. Or a preschooler asking if it was over. The kind of Mass where you could pray!" Ugh... Fine. I resigned myself to go. Three minutes before Mass began, I figured that I must need the grace since this nudge wouldn't quit so I hurried down the hallway to the familiar chapel that I used to spend lots of time in before the babies came along and I became a mostly-stay-at-home mommy.
And there He was. My beloved. Waiting, ever so patiently, for me to join him again. My Lord, still happy to see me despite the many many times I didn't listen to the nudge. And those 25 minutes were, by far, the most fulfilling of my day. I took those 25 minutes and held them close the rest of the day. And you know what? Life wasn't so hard to manage today. My temper didn't flare when the 4 year old refused a nap. I didn't wig out at joining the big kids at school for lunch without my husband's help to keep an eye on the littles. Life was really okay today. I learned that I need to listen to that nudge more often. Because the Spirit is always talking even when we pretend we can't hear. And he always knows best.
